This morning, as a kind of counterpoint to all the excitement of more than 2,000 page-views Thursday, I feel compelled to tone things down a little. Consequently, here’s a short post about the correct (or proper) way to make tea.

Don’t laugh. Making tea is a very important social skill, and it has many applications. At the heart of tea preparation is the commitment to taking the time to serve another human being; if you miss that then there’s really no point in trying to achieve any of the other critical details.

But I digress. First I need to explain why this has come up this week.

DON’T MESS UP THE TEA! Tuesday lunchtime I took my parents out to visit a local “English Tea Room.” I need to make it clear from the outset that the service was excellent, the waitress was delightful – both accommodating and polite – and the food was top-notch.

But the pot of tea was terrible! It turns out that, rather than being made with boiling water, the tea was made with water that had possibly boiled sometime in the recent past – but then left standing in an insulated container. Seriously, people, there’s no hope for tea if it isn’t made with water that’s still boiling the moment it is poured over the leaves!

There’s no hope for tea if it isn’t made with water that’s still boiling the moment it is poured over the leaves!

If you’re going to run a restaurant with the word “tea” in the title, then the tea needs to be state of the art. Everything else will taste better when the tea is right.

NATIONWIDE: But I don’t blame the restaurant; the problem is endemic. It’s a scenario that repeats with a sad predictability throughout this great land. No wonder Americans don’t drink much tea – why would we when it’s not made properly? Come to think of it it’s probably why cricket hasn’t caught on either. You can’t play cricket without access to a good cup of tea; I’m fairly sure there’s something about it in the official rules of the game.

Tea is more than a hot drink, “tea time” is a demonstration of the art of being in community together.

THE RECIPE: So here’s how it’s done. Pay close attention; it’s not rocket science, but it is a science. Take notes if you have to.

1. Get a real tea-pot. Teabags are OKay, just don’t put them in a cup; get a tea-pot. The best teapots are stainless steel. Ceramic pots lose heat quickly, so if you use one then get a nice cozy.
2. Buy some good tea. Black or Orange Pekoe tea is the best. I’d avoid all those exotic flavors if I were you. Earl Grey isn’t what traditional English families use when they make tea. I recommend English Breakfast, or Tetley’s Classic British Blend.
3. Boil the water. Now pour a little in the pot to pre-heat; it’s called “warming the pot.” Swish the water around, pour it out, put your tea in the pot, then re-boil the water before pouring it directly on the tea. Make sure the water is actually boiling. This is important.
4. Wait four to five minutes for the tea to steep. Don’t leave it much longer or it will “stew.”
5. Most English tea drinkers put a little milk in the bottom of the tea-cup before pouring the tea. Not cream. Not half-and-half. But milk. When you add the tea it should be a nice dark brown color. Add sugar or sweetener to taste.

MARRIAGE HELP: The other part of this is the community part. The whole idea of serving tea is to enjoy a quiet interlude in the company of the person you serve.

If you’re a man, then serving your wife a cup of tea can be hugely beneficial in so many ways. It takes the gift of time; it requires effort; it involves saying something like, “Can I make you a cup of tea?” It means that you are putting all else aside and making the choice and investing the effort to serve your wife.

If this is a novel idea to you, then that’s one more reason you need to serve one another more tea; and while you’re at it, learn how to do it correctly (for more on this – especially for men – read GET REAL: a spiritual journey for men pp 57-60).

I’m only here to help – DEREK