Take care of “The One Thing” and the rest of life falls into place


And let us consider each other carefully for the purpose of sparking love and good deeds. Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other… – Hebrews 10:24-25

Still trying to pump life into the aging bones of the traditional men of the church? That model is dying for good reason – men today want/need/crave a band of brothers with whom they can do life together.

It has been ten years since I published my first book, yet it still gives me a thrill when I walk into a room and see a group of men – their copy in hand – waiting for me to speak.

Thursday evening was especially sweet because the men attend a strong Presbyterian church over in Cary. I continue to travel out of state, but this is the first local invitation I have received since we moved to North Carolina in 2013. Vital men’s ministry has all but disappeared in most traditional “mainline” churches and it has been my mission (for more than a decade) to encourage not only a revival but – more importantly – a reimagining of what is possible.

Some churches still try to pump life into the aging bones of the traditional “men of the church,” offering a monthly meeting (maybe eight times a year) featuring a devotional and some informative program. But that model is dying for good reason – men today want/need/crave a band of brothers with whom they can do life together.

So the Kirk’s senior pastor invited twelve men (aged 25-55) to participate in a Lenten study, utilizing GET REAL: a spiritual journey for men. The question in front of them for their fifth and final week, and the reason for my invitation, was/is this: “What’s next?”

The One Thing:

don’t ever think I could teach without coffee…

Five weeks is just enough to get the ball rolling. But trust, depth, intimacy, vulnerability, accountability, and the kind of encouragement that can be transformational… these things take commitment and time.

I could sense in each one of the men a real desire to grow spiritually, while at the same time (and some confessed as much) there is a hesitancy and a holding back; a question of, how might this fit into my schedule? a question of counting the cost, a question of, do I have room in my life for one more thing?

Okay, fair enough. But growing in our spiritual walk as men is not “one more thing,” it is “The One Thing.” Seriously. If we want to be better husbands, more effective dads, sharper in the workplace, cutting-edge members of our church, real living witnesses to the love of God in action… then making the commitment to process all of that in the context of a band of brothers, surrounded by men who intend to walk the same path, supported, encouraged, held accountable… making such a decision will not make life more complicated, instead it will help put everything else into clear focus.

Growing in our spiritual walk as men is not “one more thing,” it is “The One Thing.”

Our conversation was short, it was limited in scope, and it was way up at the front-end of men wrestling with what to do next for God, with God, in friendship with Jesus. But I do pray their short five weeks together will lead to something ongoing and rich and encouraging.

1-IMG_4752I hope you read this, men of the Kirk, and I pray that you will respond to the ongoing invitation Jesus is, that you reach out to more men, and that something transformational happens in your community because you dared…

In love, and because of love – DEREK

You can read GET REAL via this link


Kirk of Kildare, Cary
Kirk of Kildaire


Derek Maul outside the Kirk





  1. I am just getting involved In our church and I hope to see the vitality of which you speak. I need other men who will speak into my life. We moved from an active Presbyterian Church 50 miles away to a large Baptist church in a rural community.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I so agree with you but in our small local church it is a challenge to get more than 3 men anywhere at the same time. Either it is a 2nd shift job, or 60 hour weeks and we’re delighted to see guys just show up for church. Any ideas are welcome. Blessings

    Liked by 1 person

  3. For us – and we’ve been in churches of various sizes – it about shifting the church culture from membership toward discipleship. My advice is – always – to approach just two other men and say, “Would you take this journey with me? I believe we need one another.”

    Liked by 1 person

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