belief in the middle of struggle

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Mark 9:23-24

I hadn’t planned to write about this; but – as it is literally impossible to think about anything else – I guess I have no choice.

This blog is, after all, supposed to represent an honest reflection of my personal spiritual journey, so I must deal with what is right in front of me, like it or not.

What I’m talking about is pain. I have never in my entire life even remotely had to deal with something like this and it is both disturbing and overwhelming.

I am in the middle – as I mentioned back in January – of some “catch-up” dental work. The plan started with a surgical extraction, then I was supposed to get into the balance of the work this month.

Then, Friday evening, I experienced penetrating pain in and around the tooth that needs the crown. I hardly slept that night and by Sunday morning the situation had exploded. Nothing is touching the pain. Not regular analgesic, not the supercharged ibuprofen 800 I “borrowed” from my dad, not the unneeded at the time hydrocodone from last month’s extraction.

Sunday an emergency on-call dentist phoned in antibiotics; but by this morning the pain was – if possible – even worse. I have an 11:30 with my dentist this morning so hopefully there will be some answers soon.

So why blog about this? Well, it’s important to understand that I don’t write about faith, love, light, joy, and promise in a vacuum. Life is very difficult sometimes, and days like this I struggle to understand.

I want to continue to grow as a person of faith – and I must learn to do it when it’s not all sunshine and rainbows out there.

For today, I will admit that this is no small task. “I do believe; but, Lord, I need help with this unbelief too!” – DEREK

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