Even to your old age and gray hairs
Isaiah 46:4
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Once again, the Maul experience is facing big changes. Not easy for a guy who enjoys predictable routine and puts up figurative “Do not disturb” signs whenever possible!
But today, after several months of realizing it has been well beyond “about time”, my mum is moving into a home where she can receive the level of care that best suits her needs. It has been more than a year since dad made a similar move (See “The Business End of Love“), and we are grateful to be able to place mum with the same group, at Avendelle Assisted Living.
Not only is this house closer to our home and situated on a lovely street in Heritage, but mum has her own bed-sitting room and a private bath.
There are just five other residents, all delightful ladies aged from 89-99, and the attentive staff are both professionally qualified and personally caring.
Providential Moment:
This is an environment that will not only provide mum a very pleasant home but more interaction, stimulation, activity, and personal care than has been possible living on her own. We don’t just expect her to be well cared for, we anticipate that she will thrive.
Obviously, a lot of love, thought, prayer, imagination, planning, and more prayer has gone into this moment. But it all came together when we returned from vacation, and in a way that can only be understood as providential. We were still in Pensacola when I reached out to Avendelle to let them know we were beginning to think seriously about a possible move; it happened to be the exact same day the exact right room (in the exact right house) “coincidentally” opened up.
Typically there are waiting lists, but our ongoing relationship – because of dad – allowed me the opportunity to make a decision without delay.
This has not, of course, been an easy “sell” for my mum. We have talked about the possibility off and on since Christmas; but we can come to an understanding five times one day and the next it’s a conversation we’ve never had before.
So please keep my mum in your prayers as she settles in. This is brand new for her, and there are bound to be bumps in the road. Rebekah and I have been working hard to make her suite as inviting and personal as possible, bringing in her own furniture, pictures, and personal effects.
As you can see, it’s a lovely space. I will share more pictures when everything is complete, but this gives a good idea.
I have been counting; mum lived in two houses growing up (London and Rayleigh – near Southend), and then seven houses and two apartments in 70 years with dad (Folkestone, Sarasota, and Wake Forest). This will be her first move in nine years.
I pray it will be a home filled with peace, love, light, grace, and liberal amounts of God’s mercy. – DEREK
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
A tough decision to make but I pray your mum will settle in and not only be happier but as you said “thrive”! I just lost my soulmate of 54+ years so I begin to understand what she has been going through. Although I hope to remain in my home until the end, yet I know my kids may someday have to make this choice for me as well. I pray that I will be open minded about it. 🙂 Love to you both!
Thanks, Conoly. I did not know you had lost your husband. We are both so sorry. Prayers for peace… and more peace.
I am thankful your Mom has agreed to move into the facility. It looks absolutely beautiful and homey. I hope and pray she will thrive and feel loved there. And, may you and Rebekah know comfortable with this decision and be at peace. Please give your Mom my love. Diana Craig
Thanks, Diana. It is a lovely place.
A tough decision, but I am sure is for the best. Avandelle did a great job with Elizabeth’s mom, and it’s care beyond what one can do at home. I hope Grace enjoys her new digs and makes new friends. Praying for the best for your mum.
Thanks, Andres; it really is a lovely place. Extra prayers needed, she is not happy this evening!
Prayers for her and you. Joy and peace.
The worst day of my life is when I decided and basically felt that I had to put Miriam into a Memory Care Unit. I will never forget her struggle as she was still cognizant at times as to what was happening and fought against going in. Breaks my heart to this day but I could not be there 24-7 and she was doing dangerous things to herself. Sharon Oakes, a member of our church and a dear friend who has worked with dementia patients for years finally said—because I was resisting doing that to my wife-are you going to wait until she kills herself?–and I finally said ok you are right but sometimes I wonder if it would have been best if that had happened. Derek, I realized that I could not do it any more and the time came for me to keep my health that I had to do it. I think that the same situation applies to you in some respects. I still feel guilty at times but I know that, in the long run, I did the right thing as you have because I could not take care for Miriam any longer to the degree that she needed. It was the worst day of my life–more so than her death–because I knew that she is with Jesus and in God’s arms–no more dementia no more pain.
That’s a powerful story, Walter. Thanks for sharing with my readers, too. So much of this is hard to understand- especially when your loved-one loses their ability to respond reasonably…