The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced.

Mark 4:18-19

Today I want to talk about details. The sometimes overwhelming multitude of items to check off from the long list I made (and continue adding to) since my mum died just two weeks ago today.

It’s an interesting contradiction: the exact time that bereaved people want to disengage from what Jesus refers to as “the worries of this life” is the exact moment that we are hit with a relentless barrage of head-scratching paperwork and self-contradictory forms – all presented like so many puzzles and Rubik’s Cubes and WORDLE challenges (only you have three tries instead of six and some of the letters are missing!).

Or how about this: “We printed out everything you need in a foreign language, then ran it through the shredder, along with tons of stuff that you actually don’t need. Just resemble it and include signed affidavits from tons of people you will never be able to track down, and we’ll be good. Okay?”

Plus the phone calls and the layers and layers of mind-numbing bureaucracy.

I am not complaining, only describing. It’s like, for want of a better metaphor, having a truck full of details back up in the driveway, pull a lever, and dump everything on the doorstep like a load of gravel.

Bright Spots:

There have, however, been several bright spots in the midst of all this:

NUMBER ONE: The first is the good folk and the amazing community of faith known as Wake Forest Presbyterian Church. From the Stephen Ministry – so attentive to mum during the past year, to support from the deacons, to the way the pastoral staff handled the memorial, to the state-of-the-art bereavement ministry team, to the hospitality at the reception, the church stepped up and actually became “the presence of Christ” to our family.

This is what people who have rejected church (understandably, because of so much hypocrisy and politics and nationalism staining the Good News message) need to know. Real church is where people worship God, encourage one another in faith, and become the hands and feet and light and love of Jesus in this world.

NUMBER TWO: The second is the beautiful ministry of our funeral director, Andy Wheeler, and the good work of the Clancy Strickland Wheeler Funeral Home.

The business is located in a beautiful old Wake Forest mansion on Durham Road. Nothing about losing a loved one is easy, but Andy and his team have gone above and beyond – both with dad, last year, and mum – to make the experience as positive and supportive and respectful as possible.

NUMBER THREE: Finally, I have to say out loud that I had a very positive experience at the Wake County Courthouse, in the clerk of the court’s office, getting papers filed for probate so that I can actually sell mum and dad’s house to the people we have a contract with!

After a couple of days of frustrating paperwork, then trying to access the online filing system and running into walls, I simply showed up, documents in hand, and said “help”!

The folk there were great. Patient, understanding, helpful, and professional.

Afterwards, I took a long walk down Fayetteville Street in the gorgeous fall weather, and took these fun photographs of Raleigh’s cityscape. And of course, as the selfie demonstrates, I always always park on the roof!

This may be a long and winding road, full with obstacles and too much paperwork along with multiple layers of bureaucracy, but I thank God for the good people along the way who are willing to hold my hand and to offer support.

Grateful – but tired – DEREK