With this week’s constitutional ban in North Carolina, veep Joe Biden putting his foot in President Obama’s mouth, and then yesterday’s presidential nod to the idea, there’s a lot of buzz on same-sex marriage. There is also a lot of talk about “culture wars” and much “This is going to be the Family Values election” misdirection from the people who continue to confuse conservative politics with being on the same page with Jesus.
Personally, and a lot like President Obama, I find that I am on a journey with this discussion. I have been known to disagree with myself on a regular basis, flat-out change my mind, demonstrate pervasive inconsistency, and then shoot myself in the foot with arguments that tend to go around in circles.
I know a lot of good people – both people of faith and folk from the secular frame of reference – who are all over the map regarding many aspects of this conversation. I respect the wide diversity of opinion and conviction, and I value the ongoing dialogue that we should all be able to have with people who disagree.
DRACONIAN: But the bottom line for me is coming down to this: I have no problem with people being unwilling to say “Yes” when it comes to gay marriage, I very much understand that point of view; but I am more and more convinced that the “majority rules” tactic of state-by-state constitutional amendments is reactionary, smacks of bullying, and contrary to the American spirit.
When the majority say, “I don’t like it so you can’t do it,” “We’re making your identity as a person illegal!” and “Your relationship should be defined as outside the law” to gay Americans who want to be married, that is a huge step toward more draconian social measures that – at the very least – marginalize a vulnerable minority of our population.
I find that chilling.
- I don’t have to agree that it’s OK for men to marry other men, and neither do you;
- You don’t have to attend the ceremony or send a card;
- Preachers can say it’s wrong all they want to… or lobby in favor inclusion;
- And any one of us could write a letter of protest (or support), or we could contact the justice of the peace (or the synagogue or the church) to let them know we’re comfortable (or uncomfortable) with such a ceremony.
People have the right to hold an opinion. Knock yourself out. I mean, it’s a free country.
OR IS IT? But now I believe we’re in dicey territory with the whole “it’s a free country” thing. The last I checked, the right to marry isn’t limited to just those people who practice their religion in the same way, or think the same way as the majority of the population.
“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…?” Well, yes. Unless enough people believe you should be treated differently due to a lifestyle that makes the majority uncomfortable.
“With liberty and justice for all…?” Most certainly. Unless, that is, we can get a big crowd of people to go to the polls and vote that you deserve neither liberty nor justice.
I know, I know, no-one is going around saying that “We want to put gay Americans in jail.” All that’s being done is constitutional amendments making it against the law for gays to marry. Or, “We’ve taken step number one in narrowing the legal definition of what it means to be entitled to the right to stand in front of a justice of the peace and make marriage vows.”
STEP #1: Personally, I believe step number one is a big, huge, gigantic step too far. I believe that such a shift in direction is a dangerous precedent when it comes to human liberties.
The real threat to marriage and to the American family is to be found in the following (and more):
- the chronic lack of faithfulness to promise
- the absence of Christ-like love
- inequality
- abuse
- selfishness
- the pursuit of material goods ahead of relationships
- pornography
- financial stress
- a fundamental absence of kindness in the home….
THE FIX? Taking steps to outlaw same-sex marriage is not going to begin to address the above problems. In point of fact, by turning the “it’s an attack on marriage” spotlight on gays, the people who are really doing harm to marriage in America are effectively keeping their own sins under the radar.
Yeah, we need a “Defense of Marriage” movement all right… but I’m really not sure that it has anything to do with gays….
– DEREK
Excellent post!
Derek – does it not read in the Bible – The KJV, at least that, loosely quoted, “for man to lie with man a woman is an abomination” Something with words to that effect? If so, there is no way to sugar coat God does not approve of at least male homosexuality. Seems to me there is no wiggle room for His opinion.
Ok, that said, I really don’t care what folks do behind close doors because it wont change a bit what I do behind closed doors, you know what I mean? Again, that said, why do gay people seem to want to be so ‘in your face’ with their orientation. Almost like it elevates then to some transcendental plane where they have special rights because they are, lets face it, ABNORMAL. But, again I say, so what? I don’t care, and I don’t care to know.
Here is what I DO care about: This push to make me feel like I’m the one who is screwed up in my head because I don’t think its the right thing to do.
My Two Cents….
It does say that in the Bible, you are correct. But, last I checked our nation is supposed to be founded on the idea of a “separation between church and state.” America was founded because of the protestant persecution in England and they did not want the Catholic Church to be in charge of governing them. Why should a baptist’s views affect a methodist’s? Why should a jewish man be ostracized due to a muslim woman’s views? They are not (in majority) by most of our country. So WHY, WHY are the religious views taken into consideration when it comes to outlawing gay marriage? Why is it even an issue? Are we free or not? Our country was founded for “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Don’t you want others to be happy as well? Why is the concept of freedom so limited? This issue is ringing of the ohhhh, say suffrage movement? Civil rights movement? Aren’t homosexuals just another minority wanting the same liberties that the rest of the country enjoys? I think yes.
I am a christian, don’t mistake my comments, but I do not believe that my preferences should decide others’ futures. Also, last I checked gays/ lesbians WERE NOT “in your face” about it. I rarely have seen a homosexual couple holding hands in public, kissing, or having any form of gross public displays of affection. The contralateral is true (I am one of the guilty, I admit). But, the only reason this issue has come to light and you are perceiving them as being “in your face” is because of the media. Why is it that Americans think public marriage proposals (on live TV, at major sporting events, etc.) are “so sweet” when it is a heterosexual couple, but are sickened by the idea of homosexuals simply holding hands? I believe heterosexuals are more “in your face” about their affections.
And you speak of normalcy like it is something to be proud of. If you take the word “normal” into context, then you must detest those who are above average. We would have no doctors, lawyers, politicians, clergy, superstars, allstars, etc. Anyone who is successful in any area is no longer a “normal” person. Who wants to be normal? I sure don’t.
Finally, if you are so anti-gay marriage; what say you to the divorce rate? I believe the Bible also says that one man- one woman until death do they part. Correct me if I am wrong, but there is a 50% divorce rate in our country. Most of those opposed to gay marriage (at least publicly) have been divorced. Rush Limbaugh has FOUR wives. Should we ostracize them? Should we pass laws limiting their marriage options? If we are to cling to our religious beliefs with such inflexibility, we should damn those who re-marry as well.
Freedom is not a fluid concept. One is either free or not, there is no middle ground. If America is going to live up to our fore-fathers’ ideals we cannot limit freedom as we so choose. We either initiate all religious law (including punishment justified as such) or we extend freedom to all citizens.
In short: gay marriage, no gay marriage. normal, abnormal. I believe it was also written in the bible that when the masses descended on the harlot that Jesus wrote “let those who are without sin cast the first stone.” If we are to use this story as a parable; I say: “let those without any flaw in their marriage; cast the first ballot.”
Thank you for this.