Every once in a while, I surprise myself. Mostly, it’s a good surprise, like getting in touch with a gift I never knew that I had, or pulling off something especially challenging. Then, once in a while, it’s more of a “gosh-darn,” or falling short in some way.

This time the surprise was on the disappointing end. The situation involved a two-story house (a first for us), a very long ladder, and me letting myself down.

Our first week here two guys came by the house and offered to clean out our gutters for “x” amount of dollars. “You won’t need us back till the New Year,” they lied convincingly.

So I paid up, then watched the trees start to shed in earnest.

Before long they showed up again and knocked on my door with the same offer. “No thanks,” I replied. “I’ll use the money to buy a ladder and start doing it myself.”

NOT SO FAST! Yesterday I pulled out my new ladder and started by cleaning a bunch of spider-webs and gunk off all the upstairs windows.

I didn’t fall off. However, my heart was in my mouth the whole time and I felt just a little panicky; it wasn’t a good experience!

But I did get my work done, and I will be able to do it again when necessary.

Next on my list was the pine straw on the roof.

REALITY CHECK! I climbed the ladder, transferred myself to the roof, kept my center of gravity as low as I could, and took one step in the general direction of up. It took me all of 15-seconds to become quietly unglued; and then another 15-minutes for Rebekah to get me off the roof!

Back in Brandon our one-story ranch had a roof pitch somewhere around 30-degrees. I could walk up and down, clear off the leaves, or squat on the edge and pull debris from the gutters without a second thought.

Here in Wake Forest our two-story colonial is not only extremely tall, but the roof pitches at more than 40-degrees. I felt one foot slide less than an eighth of an inch and, in that moment, completely lost my confidence.

You can guess who’s going to the yellow pages next week to look for a reliable (and insured) gutter cleaning service.

MRI: The way I reacted caught me by surprise – kind of like the claustrophobic terror that overcame me the first time I went into the “tunnel of doom” for an MRI!

The difference then was that five minutes later I asked the technicians to give me a second chance with the scan, and I was able to will myself through.

I can tell your right now, it’s going to take more than willpower to get me back on our roof!

IMMORTALITY: I don’t know why I still think I need my body to be 25-years-old, when one of the beautiful privileges of middle-age is the opportunity to live forward, and to find my deeper identity as an emerging spiritual being.

Which is funny, because it’s the young people who seem to think they’re immortal; when the truth is that it’s us. Or it should be.

Which is funny, because it’s the young people who seem to think they’re immortal; when the truth is that it’s us. Or it should be.

So what if I can’t prance around on the roof? or do wondrous things with a soccer ball? or run five miles without thought or effort any more?

That’s not who I am. Who I am is – increasingly – a child of God, someone growing into the likeness of Jesus as a spiritual being.