Postscript to a Beautiful and Courageous Life

Sandee Hagen

A short while ago, and after an escalating illness, one of the brightest lights in the constellation of our friends faltered, flickered, and then passed into eternity.

The news tore a hole in our hearts. It’s a huge blow for those of us who love her, and a sad loss for our world. But Sandee was one hundred percent confident that this life is just the beginning of the journey, and so am I, so in that sense she’s been freed up to shine more than ever before.

Sandee Hagen was one of the most courageous people I have ever known. We became friends back in the early 1980’s, when Rebekah and I launched a ministry for young families at Trinity Presbyterian Church in Pensacola. Sandee, her husband (Bruce), and their son (Nicholas), were a key part of the beginnings of what became an epic crowd of great friends.

Then, in an unimaginable tragedy, both Bruce – forty-one, and Nicholas – a vivacious six-year-old, died in a terrible car accident. Something like that leaves a wound that will always remain open, but Sandee made the choice – every day – to live. Not just to live but to live graciously, and creatively, and generously, and lovingly, and faithfully.

That’s what I mean when I say Sandee lived courageously; it takes not only great faith, but great courage, and honesty, and persistence, to continue to shine in the way that she did; and this world is a brighter place today because of her constant, insistent, faith-charged, luminosity.

That’s what I mean when I say Sandee lived courageously; it takes not only great faith, but great courage, and honesty, and persistence, to continue to shine in the way that she did; and this world is a brighter place today because of her constant, insistent, faith-charged, luminosity.

Naomi, Rebekah, Sandee

Where many people would have built a wall to protect themselves from the danger of more pain, Sandee allowed us to love her, and she loved us back; she became a very real part of our family. She loved our children, and she allowed them to love her; she served countless others through her counseling practice; she became a Stephen Ministry leader at our church; she cared for people with a sensitivity and a depth born out of her own pain.

Sure she was hurt, and sometimes angry, and confused at such outrageous and impossible loss – but she trusted her Creator enough to work through the hard times without letting go of God’s hand.

  • Sandee convinced me of the truth of Psalm 23“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”
  • And she demonstrated the reliability of those first few Beatitudes in Matthew 5“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth.”
  • And she illustrated the authenticity of Paul’s words to his friends in Philippians 1: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

In many ways, Sandee’s work (here) is complete, and those of us who love her feel privileged and grateful to have been witness to her eloquent testimony to grace, and faithfulness, and God’s unfailing love. But God’s work through the rest of us remains ongoing – an invitation, really.

Each one of us is a work-in-progress in our own way (me especially), and it is my prayer that we will be encouraged and inspired to live this gospel truth out loud, to the very end of our own days here on this Good Earth.

So I’ll wrap up these thoughts by continuing in Philippians 2:14-16

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.”

Our imperative is to shine – and then shine some more – as we hold firmly to the word of life.

Thanks, Sandee, for everything. In Love, and because of love – DEREK


  1. Thank you for this beautiful tribute. She was a very special friend to many and we will miss her! I remember Rebekah’s efforts after the accident to stay in touch and love her through those dark days. Sandee was an inspiration and It was a privilege to know her.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A candle has been lit….tears are being shed…..a friend is gone. But the memories of how special she was will remain. Her love and caring surpassed all – even when she was suffering.
    I am certain she was welcomed as she passed by Nickolas and Bruce into her new place.


  3. Sandee was a close and wonderful friend since we were in our 30s. We were in supper club in Pensacola together; I’ll never forget that she came to see me and practice changing an infant’s diaper when she found out she and Bruce would become parents. Nicholas was attending my school when the accident occurred; I was never so glad to believe in Resurrection. Sandee was indeed one of the strongest and most faithful people I have ever known. If anyone knows where a memorial gift can be sent and what family to write to, I’d like to know.


  4. Sandee was a colleague, business partner,confidant,friend, sister. She was honest and congruent- her words and thoughts and feelings synced up. She was real.


  5. […] This week has turned into – thus far – one of the busiest of the year. Beyond my typical writing and teaching responsibilities, I’ve picked up a couple of big tight deadline articles (due in the next few days), plus I’m prepping to lead a Sunday-Tuesday retreat where I’ll be giving five major presentations, and then Rebekah has a 6:35 flight out of RDU tomorrow morning as she heads to Minnesota for Sandee’s funeral. […]


  6. I have been trying to locate Sandee for years as we were v. good friends in the late 70-80’s and then I left the area not to return. Meeting Vicki Ronan on a biking trip I learned, much to my sadness, of Sandee’s death. Can anyone connect me with her family? Thanks, Pat Lynett


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