“Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”
Jesus: Matthew 11:28-30
I had something happen Wednesday that made me both angry and sad; it was another example of evangelicalism pushing people away from Jesus, and I can’t think of anything sadder than that.
I’m talking about the judgy, harsh, bigoted, “don’t ask questions,” “turn or burn” religion that claims ownership of a stylized salvation experience, leans fundamentalist, is quick to condemn, and often confuses reactionary social/political conservatism with Christianity.
To the extent that this exclusionary – though patently incorrect – brand remains the default public understanding of what it means to follow Jesus, Christianity in North America may well be in serious trouble.
Of course (and because more winsome expressions of Christianity do not make so much noise) it already is. And that’s my point. My other point is that it doesn’t have to be, and the future – if we actually walk with Jesus – can and must overflow with grace, mercy, light, redemption, and promise.
Because it’s not Jesus who is in trouble (I believe he is seldom rejected when properly introduced), it’s what is being said in his name. Let me illustrate with two sad stories.
“If this is Christianity, I don’t want it”
The first story is the one that precipitated this post. It unfolded this week, during an interview in connection with an article I’m writing on college students and financial planning.
- “What impact does your faith have on this topic?” I asked.
- “To be honest,” he responded, “I’m not really a Christian anymore.”
I could have left it there, because the story didn’t need me to to know any more. But I had to ask. “Forgive me,” I said, “if this sounds intrusive, but I’m genuinely interested to know what you mean when you say you are no longer a Christian…”
So he told me about his experience, a couple of years ago, working as a counselor with an organization (associated with Lifeway) that put on “Christian” summer camps.
“I’m someone who always has a lot of questions,” the young man said. “But in that environment I was not allowed to ask questions.”
He went on to explain how, week after week, he witnessed hellfire and brimstone aimed at both children and staff, and in an environment where there was no room for discussion. Open, honest, inquiring conversations were verboten.
Rather than being encouraged to discover and explore his relationship with God, the message was clear:
- We already have all the answers for you.
- This is what you must believe.
- There are no questions.
- There is no discussion.
- If you don’t parrot exactly what you are told then God will send you to hell.
“Hearing that all summer really shocked me,” he told me. “I concluded that if this is Christianity I don’t want anything to do with it.”
We then had a positive conversation about where he is on his journey, and I was able to encourage him not to blame God for bigotry perpetuated in God’s name.
“Where I come from we don’t question God”
Several years ago, back in Florida, something similar happened in one of the men’s groups I led.
We were reading a book by a well-known football coach. I told a friend about it and she said that her husband – who was struggling with life in general and pretty much done with faith – was a big fan of the author; would I invite him to read along?
I contacted “Dan” and he was excited to be part of the conversation. He lived in another state, so my group agreed to welcome him, to encourage him, and to extend our weekly discussion via an open email thread.
The first week went well and my friend’s husband opened up a little. Then the second week Dan risked going a little deeper and aired a couple of questions about God that had been troubling him. I was excited to see him willing to share so authentically.
But before anyone else had a chance to respond, one of the men – “Richard” – closed him down hard. “I don’t really know who you are,” the comment went, “but where I come from you don’t question God. I accept what the Bible teaches and I don’t ask questions; you should too. It’s best to keep your doubts to yourself and keep quiet when you’re the new guy.”
I was horrified. Immediately I reached out to my friend’s husband and apologized. I also had a serious conversation with the man who had been so harsh, much like the Pharisees Jesus talked about who, “shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces” (Matthew 23:13-14).
But it was too late. Dan felt – justifiably – cold-shouldered, judged, and rejected. I never got him back in the conversation. He stopped going to church too. The experience with Richard’s bigotry confirmed what he already suspected.
Jesus is God’s Invitation!
Some Christians want to know, “How many people have you brought to the Lord?” I think an alternate line of inquiry might be, “How many people have you driven away from faith in God?” or, “Why do you shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces?”
Jesus is God’s invitation. If anyone claims to follow him, then surely we should be welcoming too?
I’d like to challenge all of us to make sure the message we are sharing is the same one Jesus offers: “Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”
Come. – DEREK
Pause for thought ….. Very challenging Derek. Thank you.
Thank you for this. “Richard” should probably read the Bible a little closer. Habbukkuk, King David, Jeremiah, Jesus himself, Thomas, Moses, Gideon, Job, Jepthah and others questioned God. Abraham and Sarah even laughed at His promises. And if the Apocryphal Book of Baruch means anything, it’s allllll Q & A.
This is old but, it would have probably meant a lot to “Dan” and his journey if “Richard” would have considered the above, humbled himself, and called “Dan” to apologize.
I just hope that Dan ultimately decided to trust the Creator and not the fallen, sinful created.
Thanks, Hope, that’s a great response.
At the same time, Jesus is always asking me great questions too! In fact, he tended to ask more than he answered.
Peace to you. And please continue to pray for “Dan”
Hi Derek, thanks for what you have put out there for others to see.
Having said that, I can’t believe in what you have said. My first response is, ‘ok, just another one’. Fake, Fake, Fake…………………………………………..
That is what they truly are.
The outright lies, self-righteousness, judgmentalism, (how do you see the speck that is in thy brother’s eye, but not the beam that is in thine own eye?), the COVERT operations of the ‘righteous’, the spiritual contempt of others, (overtly), the spiritual PRIDE, the lack of compassion, the lack of any of the attributes of the Christ, for that matter, and the belief that they and they only, are ‘saved’. Of course, the masses have not and will not attain salvation, as they have. Because they are not in the ‘CLUB’.
Not to mention, as well, they exhibit the deepest corruption, defilement, and opposition to the ‘Christ’ that is possible.
Those that have sinned, as we all have, to the lowest depths of what a human can elect to choose to do, but are now above and beyond reproach, because they are now in the ‘CLUB’.
The club of ‘christianity’. And after all, they can do what they want, and it’s ok, because they can claim the blood of Christ….. They just get forgiven.
Forget the Truth, forget Christ, just know that you are now in the CLUB, and no-one and no judgement, no Truth, can touch you.
On Sunday they wear sheeps clothing, then on Monday they wear Wolves clothing.
They are experts in the art of Revenge, manipulation, and most of all, BLACKMAIL!
We know this all too well. They have made my wife’s life a living MISERY. And they know that she is dying from a terminal condition.
They have ALL deserted her. Unbelievable.
And it it said in the Bible, ‘The Church is the body of Christ.’
Well, as a lowly non-CLUB member of the Church, I say, if the Church is the body of Christ, then
what if the Church is Corrupt???? What then?
Where does that leave us? There is more corruption in the Church than is in the whole of the political system in the world!
This is just the tip of the Iceberg..
For the above enumerated reasons, (just the tip of the Iceberg,) I have been driven away forever, from the Church.
Why would anybody want to bow down to a CORRUPT institution???
Why would anybody want to go to Church?
Why would anybody want to follow Christ? The body of Christ is CORRUPT…
So looking deeper into it, one is just supposed to have faith, be subservient to the ,, ‘administrators of the Church’ (and hope that they aren’t a pedophile), and all will be well?
I think not.
Who is in charge here??? Isn’t there any authority over what transpires here? Is this all just a see what happens type of affair?
No. The Truth of what Christ told us, and the revealed Word of God to us, tells us immediately that these people are FAKE.
So even those Christians closest to us who are fakes, (all of them), can just ‘claim the blood of Christ’, and get off?
As said, the above isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.
It seems the Christians do the work of the Devil. Why do they do this? I know why. Because they have been influenced/infiltrated by the Devil. I think the Bible mentions this.
Of course you may have placations, excuses, explanations, soothe-sayings, nice ways of ‘smoothing it all over’, but the fact remains that Christianity (the CLUB), has been ‘hacked’. It is corrupt.
Look at the Catholic Church, and the revelations surrounding it of the last 20yrs and more.
So this is why I have gone to the practice of meditation, no corrupt ‘institution’ over-lord, no lies
, no revenge, no blackmail, no self-righteousness, spiritual contempt, spiritual pride, etc ad nauseum.
Just a simple practice that opens the mind.
Never to return to the so-called Church.
Just what the Devil wants.
The enemy within.
The oldest story in the book.
And still we get placations..
Christians turn people away from Christ
Bruce
Bruce:
So sorry to read all of your negative experiences. It is truly heartbreaking.
I am also sorry that anyone suggested that there is a requirement to “be subservient to the administrators of the church…” That is a red flag for sure!
So my prayer is that you and your family experience peace and that you continue to rest in your relationship with God and that you also experience healing in your heart and your soul. And that you will be open to understand that your experiences do not make everything “fake fake fake.” I myself am – of course – flawed and broken and wrong much of the time… but my experience and what I report is 100% authentic. I have been part of four wonderful congregations populated by other imperfect Christians much like me, and the community has been genuine and very much the body of Christ. Grace, grace, grace.
God’s peace and blessings be with you – Derek
This is a bold, necessary conversation. Thank you for writing it. The title “When Christians Push People Away from Jesus” forces us to hold up a mirror: love doesn’t earn by exclusion. I appreciate how you unpack the ways we, intentionally or not, can create barriers (judgment, hypocrisy, dogmatism) that obscure rather than reveal Christ. Your call to embody welcome, humility, and compassion rather than insisting on perfect belief is deeply needed. May this prompt many hearts to repent with love, not condemn with words.