You teach me the way of life.
    In your presence is total celebration.
Beautiful things are always in your hands.

Psalm 16:11

Out here at the Transitions Hospice House in Raleigh, mum is comfortably situated in a beautiful room, with just the right balance of medication to keep the pain away and her spirit at peace.

I think she has at last found enough rest and comfort that she can settle back into God’s good mercy and grace. It’s been a long time since she knew this level of peace, it’s been a long struggle, and this moment is very much overdue.

Today – and late this evening (Thursday) – resting and comfortable, the pain is no longer consuming all of her attention, and I am confident that she is resting in her trust in and knowledge of God’s great love. I believe that we all default to the bedrock experiences that have always defined us, and for mum that is absolutely faith and trust in Jesus, and celebration of God’s guiding presence in her life.

The Labyrinth:

After mum was settled in I took a walk around the campus here. The home sits on a ridge behind some green meadows. There are lovely landscaped gardens overlooking the adjacent fields, and a serene footpath leads to a bricked labyrinth, nestled in behind a stand of trees.

I started to walk the labyrinth, casually, carelessly even. But I found I was too distracted by the scenery – and my own scattered mind – and I stepped out after a couple of minutes.

I entered again, trying to apply a little more focus. But once more I failed, and stepped out once more.

Then, taking in a deep drink of the vista, I realized what my issue was. I was trying to go into the labyrinth for something, but what I needed to do was to take something in with me.

So I picked up a stone and I carried it in my hand, wondering about its meaning at every turn, stopping to breathe, to take in the beauty around me, and to move toward the center, my center.

It was then I realized that I was carrying my mother with me, and when I reached the center point I gently, prayerfully, lovingly placed her on the heart, and I breathed a deep thanksgiving, looking around at the sweeping view, listening to the cows low and the birds sing.

The yellow wildflowers stood out brilliantly. The Carolina Blue sky was the perfect backdrop. A few clouds accented the colors. Somewhere in the distance I heard the cars on the freeway.

There it was. Not a destination but a journey. Not so much looking for something but finding it along the way.

I think oftentimes I spend too much time looking for what I think I need to find, when what the Spirit is doing – gently – is teaching me to actually open my eyes and to see what it is that God wants to show me.

You teach me the way of life.
    In your presence is total celebration.
Beautiful things are always in your hands.