Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing

1 Thessalonians 5:11

In this unique historical moment, where many congregations (of all denominations) face existential challenges, there is a lot of good conversation around how to reengage with people who have drifted away, and even reimagining what church looks like.

I very much agree that looking to the future is more helpful than looking over our shoulders at the past. But our most critical need – in my opinion – is simply for leaders and members who are more passionate about Jesus and who love each other – and their community – without holding back.

I say this because The Gospel – the good news about Jesus – is the only thing with the power to save: churches, individuals, communities.

“All in” includes making friends:

I also believe a passion for Jesus means a passion for people too. There seems to be a trend among clergy (and their families) of avoiding close friendships in their congregations, of keeping people at arm’s length and of disinterest in the local town/community.

Explanations for this include: defense against perceived favoritism; fear of getting close to people they will one day leave; maintaining “professional distance”; and being taught at seminary that “boundaries” must be ironclad – often even including living somewhere other than the local community.

At the risk of sounding either old or British (possibly both), I say “poppycock!” “Bunk!” “Hooey!” And even, “stuff and nonsense!”

Rebekah and I have a couple of essential rules: “Love without reservation!” and, “Allow people to love us too!” It’s really the same thing. That and, “Leave it all on the field.”

Over time, having been totally committed to congregations in Pensacola, Brandon, Wake Forest and now Tarboro, our collection of “best friends” has a lot of parallels with Rebekah’s “Top Ten favorite Bible passages.” And we all know there are likely several hundred on that list!

Our favorite people – like my favorite cities – tend to be the ones we are keeping company with at the time. Then there are those who, even after we move away, keep popping up again and again, and there we are, just enjoying one another’s company.

But love is like that. The more love you share and embrace the more it seems there is, and then the moment you try to ration love out it pretty much drains away.

Wake Forest friends:

We heard that our friends Ray and Jane Evans (from Wake Forest) are moving out of town; so we made a point of having dinner together Thursday evening. Six o’clock reservations and it was almost ten when we noticed the music go quiet and we had been the only remaining customers for a long time!

It was such a good evening we forgot to take the requisite selfie. So instead I’m using the above image from a couple of years ago; here’s the link where I called them “People of Grace” – and it’s as good a phrase now as it was then.

Good, good people; faithful, committed Christians; generous and full of grace.

This is why Rebekah and I will always be all in, one hundred percent, not just leaders but participants too. We would not enjoy such deep connections with such good people unless we were willing to throw everything in the mix ourselves; we would not experience such generous love unless we, first, were vulnerable and passionate not only about our faith but in our relationships too; we would not cry so often at goodbyes unless we had – first – loved so much.

Real ministry is never risk free!

Ministry – as a family – is the most wonderful and risky and intense and joyful and love-saturated experience there could possibly be.

Here is what I think. I think that this post-covid, church in crisis, everything on the line, wondering how we will survive moment is exactly NOT the time for pastors to do anything other than give, give, give and love, love, love and believe, believe, believe and throw themselves/ourselves into the community with more than one hundred percent passion and commitment. And our families too.

Rebekah and I have friends and they are still our friends even after we move. We’ve only been here in Tarboro four and a half months but I can safely say there are at least a dozen men I count as good friends and who I could call in a heartbeat. And there are even more people – single married etcetera – who Rebekah and I already feel we are close to.

So, “Godspeed” Jane and Ray. I know we could pick up right where we left off in a moment – and probably will. And thank you so much to all the scores of people Rebekah and I count as close enough to say “We love you” without hesitation.

God is good. Serving God and loving the community is amazing. We are so very blessed – DEREK

We would not enjoy such deep connections with such good people unless we were willing to throw everything in the mix ourselves; we would not experience such generous love unless we, first, were vulnerable and passionate not only about our faith but in our relationships too; we would not cry so often at goodbyes unless we had – first – loved so much.