Therefore, as God’s chosen, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other. Colossians 3:12-13

This morning I have to share this new photograph of our daughter and her children, because it is just so beautiful. But I also cannot include an image like this without telling the story that goes with it. Context is everything

This is a hard post to write because it speaks of so much pain and so many shattered dreams. But at the same time it is an important post because it speaks to possibilities and healing, and the promise that is tomorrow – the hope that can always define our future.

this post speaks to possibilities and healing – and the promise that is tomorrow

This week our daughter Naomi and her husband, Craig, signed the papers that set in motion the official end to their almost 19 years of marriage. We knew this was coming as they have been essentially separated since the end of last summer, but the cumulative pain of everything that led to this moment is still very much in sharp focus.

So Rebekah and I understand, and we are in a sense pleased that they both now have the opportunity to move forward with less uncertainty. It is our prayer that now the unraveling part is just about over, a season of healing and restoration can begin.

Divorce and Covenant

The reality of divorce is one I have thought about and written about several times over the years, and always in response to the experiences, the questions and sometimes the protests of people I love.

Some believe passionately that divorce is always wrong in the sight of God. I understand where they are coming from, because so much of God’s interface with humankind is defined in terms of covenant. And marriage is not only a covenant between two people but also with God.

When a covenant like that is fractured it is a big deal.

God’s Nature is Love

But God’s nature is love, and God yearns for the expression – the practice – of love in the living out of covenant. So when a marriage no longer sustains love, but cultivates a culture of brokenness and pain, the covenant is steadily dissolved. I believe God then sees divorce as tragic but preferable.

God yearns for the expression – the practice – of love in the living out of covenant

The good news is that God’s promises are always in play and we know that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

And let me remind everyone of what God’s purpose is – for you, for me and for all of us. It is spelled out clearly in this passage from Colossians 3: “Put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other.”

In other words, we are invited to dress ourselves in the clothes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience….

If there was a benediction for the end of a marriage that is also an invitation and a charge for new life, going forward, then this is it.

Peace, and I mean that in every way – DEREK