We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:7-10)

Emotion is an interesting phenomenon. Guys especially have a hard time with it. We work hard to keep emotion in check, even to the extent sometimes of distancing ourselves from people we love. Oh, men tend to give in to the anger end of the spectrum without a second thought – but it’s tenderness that makes us uneasy. And crying is to be avoided at all costs.

Enter God, and the ever increasing spiritual sensitivity that has come along with my walk of discipleship. Now I seldom go more than a week without something moving me to tears. My heart has become so tender, and my spirit so vulnerable.

It’s a good thing – I understand that – but do I have to cry every time the music moves me? or when a child takes my hand? or when the preacher’s words touch me? or when one more testimony of grace reaches in to my soul?

HABITAT for HUMANITY: This time it was the dedication ceremony for a group of five Habitat for Humanity homes here in Wake Forest. Our church has been involved heavily, from person-hours worked to money donated to meals and encouragement and more.

So a few of us joined the huge crowd Friday, swelled by the ranks of 130 AmeriCorps volunteers here for the week-long “blitz” that brought things to a spectacular conclusion.

Enthusiasm – check; passion – check; belief – check; hard work – check; commitment – check; dedication – check; community – check. It’s all good. It’s what I love about these events. But then, all of a sudden, God reached in and turned on my emotion. Really? Do we have to go there so often?

LOVE: It happened three times:

• The first was when the new homeowners were given their key – handed over (along with hugs) by the AmeriCorps young people.
• Then the Habitat coordinator presented each family with a Bible. He quoted the 2 Corinthians passage this post opened with. I thought about the hope that is always present for those who believe; and how these families had been knocked down so often but – because they believed, and because we believe – they have continued to get up again. And I thought about how our belief continues to be so crucial for their victory.
• Finally, I felt my eyes fill with tears when we all participated in the litany of dedication. And I realized my emotion is because the story of hope is not just their story, it’s a story that must be a shared experience.

Of course it wasn’t simply emotion; I have been opened up – pried open at times – by the loving insistence of the Spirit of God. I’m letting God in more and more, and the volume of love is simply too much for me to contain – and so it spills out, often through my eyes, and I am undone.

I still resist. I try hard not to cry. I pretend it’s allergies and I pull out my handkerchief. I blow my nose or cough or take my glasses off and clean them. I do so much to fight back, to redirect, but by now the tide has completely turned and the love is relentless, and more and more I give in. And that’s a good thing.

I am a jar made out of clay; but I am increasingly filled with light – DEREK